Abaddon Lucifer

Today is the birthday of one of Evenstar’s coworkers from his job at the hairdresser’s place.  Not Annabel; she got fired as soon as their boss found out that her comments towards Evenstar were making him cut himself.  She raised Cain, of course, but she couldn’t beat us in court.  Not when I was Evenstar’s lawyer.  She had to pay us a fine and was forced into counseling.

I took the bar examination a few years ago; technically, I can practice law anywhere in the state of Oklahoma, and I have made a point of listing myself as a freelance economics lawyer in various places, but I am most interested in doing PR and accounting work for Sama.

But I digress.  So once Evenstar found out that today was his coworker’s birthday, he got her a gift card to Belz’s restaurant—good for one free meal with dessert and refills on all drinks; basically stock-standard for him—and had us all give her something.

Satan, Sama, and Mephis just wound up getting her a gift card for Amazon.  Belz got her a box of doughnuts—assorted from Krispy Kreme; it was the one confection he couldn’t quite manage—and I got her a cheap but pretty necklace and earring set.

Evenstar then waited for her in the break room, and when she showed up, he told her ‘happy birthday’ and gave her the presents.  She was so pleased that she extended an invitation to her family’s bowling party they were going to have that night, and she said that he could bring his family too.

Which is why I am now following her car to the nearest bowling alley.  Apart from me, Sama and Satan were the only ones interested in coming.  Sama mostly because he just wanted to watch me make a fool of meself, he said.  I had a sneaking suspicion that whatever bowling was, I was likely going to embarrass meself heartily.

So we pull into the parking lot, and we go inside—Evenstar’s coworker has three small and very bouncy children, and they were all happy to meet Sama and I…Satan must have looked too intimidating—and me problems begin with the getting of the bowling shoes.

I wear no shoes because no shoes will fit me hooves.  Once I point this out to them—and demonstrate that me hooves can’t scratch their pretty floors—they let me play without them.  All goes fairly well until it comes to me turn to bowl.  I’d watched everyone else, so I had a fair idea how it worked; that is not the problem.
The problem is that those pretty floors are slippery.  Me hooves can’t grip properly, and so me walk winds up being something similar to the one I use on ice.  This draws giggles from the children, and smiles from Evenstar and Satan.  Sama just watches with amusement.

Me first attempt to mimic everyone else’s stance is a total disaster; me hooves fly out from under me, sending me to me belly on the floor, and the ball goes wide, and lands in the gutter.  The children laugh heartily, and Evenstar grins outright.  “Nice wipeout,” Satan gives me a left-handed compliment.

“I totally did that on purpose,” I tell him, me tail lashing as I slowly push meself to me feet; I had promised that I wouldn’t scar the floor.  “Okay…maybe this time I will be more successful…” I said, retrieving me ball from the return.

I’m not.  Another gutter ball, and this time I fall backwards.

The process repeats itself in the second bracket…and the third…and the fourth…and so on down the line, until me brothers hear a nearly uninterrupted string of curses and dire threats upon the ball in the mindspeech.  They all try very hard not to laugh at me continued embarrassment of meself.

In the final throw for the tenth bracket, after I had fallen on me stomach again, I watch while the ball leisurely makes its way to the gutter.  I think Mephis said it best, I tell me brothers.

And what’s that then? Satan inquires politely, halfway smiling.

The ball lands solidly in the gutter.  Fuck!!