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November 25, 2012
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The mist obediently hovers within the binding circle, coming once more and tamely to my call.  How raucous it was when first I summoned it!  How loudly it roared its name to the ceiling—how silent were the heavens that night.  But now it is silent when it arrives, as silent as the heavens when I call, for I have bade it so.  With it comes the sulfurous reek of its home and its own pets—a pair of tiny bat-winged imps no larger than my hand—and a deepening of the shadows in my basement conjury.

The fool has cast his spells of summoning again, and never were more clichéd words uttered than in this room.  He thinks I am silent because he ordered me to be; I am silent because I know that were I to speak, I would reveal the true depth of his idiocy.  And that simply would not do.  Not now that I've invested so much time into making this little room homely.  My "little" pets—if the stupid scholar knew their true shapes, he would die of fright—are seeking out more hiding spots, from which to pursue the mission I have given them.  Sadly, I cannot hide all of their shapes through the bindings the heavens bestowed on me; the shadows in the basement belong to my pets.

Now the creature begins to speak—nay, to sing!—in its horrible, throaty voice and offer me all the gifts of hell in exchange for one tiny fragment of my soul.  I almost agreed the first time—almost, but I remembered the writings of my disappeared master, who told me never to agree to the first deal.  Demons are cunning creatures, he warned, and their best deal always comes when they have been cowed sufficiently.  My dear master, I have succeeded where you have not!  I shall master this demon Aakhav, and through him receive my immortal due!

Trot out the old infinite wealth for a bit of soul gig—does that ever work?  I would hope it doesn't.  Good, now he's rejected it and thinks himself oh so clever for seeing through the oldest trick in the book.  The fact that it's even in a book should tell him something, but no.  His master was at least passably clever, and figured out what I was up to before I could enact it.  Killed him and fed him to my hounds.  He wasn't worth any sort of eternal punishment.  This one isn't worth any punishment at all.  Once he comes down the next time—probably in three days' time during the height of the lunar eclipse, because that supposedly affects the power of his nonsense syllables—he'll punish himself more than adequately at the reveal of his own stupidity.

My own preparations have been made, though I am careful to never say as much, lest the demon thwart me.  The mist stirs oddly, as though hearing some infernal call.  But it cannot answer, for my circle holds it fast.  I can almost see eyes within its mist, blinking at me.  Eyes, and then teeth.  But it doesn't dare to threaten me, not when I hold its true name.  I have but to speak the name of Aakhav'nalish, and it will bow and scrape to my every whim.  We'll see who's laughing then.

I can't suppress a yawn.  No, really, I can't.  I stopped listening to his inane ramblings four "summons" ago.  He should be shutting up soon, thankfully.  I could really use a trip to the loo.  My most recent pets have already discretely hidden themselves behind those suits of armor near the staircase, and more importantly, within reflection of the mirror at the nearest landing.  He'll just "reinforce" the "wards" he thinks he's embedded just on the edge of the landing.  Honestly, this one is just the worst catch I've ever landed, not even worth mentioning.  People used to be able to use real magic, you know?  Yes, yes, the expected drama and recoil to the supposed first half of my true name.  Like I would actually tell him that.  His master was smart enough to look it up instead of simply "commanding it" from me.  Honestly.

It will obey my commands tomorrow night, when I shall summon it before the King and all his fine ladies.  We'll cause quite a stir there, and fear of the demon shall cause the King and his councilmen to give me my rightful position as the chief scholar.  Every book I have read says that in the olden days, it was a mark of passage to have a properly controlled demon.  A mark of passage and a requirement of advancement to the highest levels of scholarly nobility.  But for now, I need to bind its essence to my prepared demon bottle.  I won't have the time for a proper ritual tomorrow night, since there won't be a single unwatched corner, and I need silence to perform it.  Opening the bottle with it bound will call it just as well, providing I bind it correctly.  It's a finicky spell that I've spent weeks researching.

Stupid little scholar, I can hear your thoughts.  You know that they abandoned that practice for a reason, don't you?  Of course you don't, and you also don't know that they now train certain mundanes to sniff out actual binds, of which you have exactly zero.  Good work on the bottle, though you missed out on the one ingredient that would make it actually work rather than requiring me to play along, as usual.  Overdramatic resistance as I slide most of what I am permitted to reveal into the bottle—which, of course, is exactly what he doesn't want.  But I leave an illusion of the mist that represents me behind, so that he suspects nothing.

Tomorrow night will be the best of my life.

It certainly will.
Demon 1
Scholar 0

I think we can all see how this one ends.

EDIT: ...did I seriously just get a DD on this after a week of it being up? Wow. Thanks guys.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-12-02
Demons are Smarter Than You by ~MoreaGaara Suggester Writes: Starting with an irresistible title, this flash fiction is equally irresistible and interesting, told from two POVs that add quite a dose of great humor as well. ( Suggested by xlntwtch and Featured by Beccalicious )
:icondodgingthebeat:
DodgingTheBeat Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   Writer
Love it. Well written, satirical and sarcastic. I know people below have asked you to read the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Honestly, READ IT. Great series, and the (anti)hero is similar to Aakhav'nalish.

Well done. Keep writing!
Reply
:iconfreakiegeekie:
FreakieGeekie Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this! It's humorous in an odd sort of way and it's a refreshing read.

I simply adore the demon's attitude and opinions on human stupidity.
Reply
:icon1o11y9o9:
1o11y9o9 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This reminds me of the Bartemaus Trilogy. It's awesome.
Reply
:iconescarlatafox:
EscarlataFox Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh, was this inspired at all by the Bartimaeus books? Because it's so dang similar to those! It reminds me of them so much! :squee:
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
No, because I've never heard of them before today. You are the second person to mention them, though.
Reply
:iconescarlatafox:
EscarlataFox Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, interesting! =D It's a creepily similar scenario to the books then, if you've never read them! =D You should really check them out =) They're damn amazing =D
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
:iconleapplz: Wonderful to see your work receiving a Daily D!
Reply
:iconladynin-chan:
LadyNin-Chan Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Traditional Artist
I love this so much! :iconiloveyouplz: Congrats on the DD!! Is there or will there be a sequel?? I'd love to read more! :iconloveloveplz:

By the way, you should check out the Kara Gillian series by Diana Rowland. It's really good (book 5 comes out around New Years) and also had demon summonings. The characters have a cool sense of humor :)
Reply
:iconpenniphurr:
penniphurr Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
<giggle> Poor silly little scholar!
Reply
:iconplaguejester:
PlagueJester Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
As someone obsessed with horror, I see a lot of horror potential in this.

Have you considered going the Lovecraftian route by using the "some knowledge isn't meant for man" route?
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
It's funny, because I wrote this just after reading a bit of Lovecraft.
Reply
:iconplaguejester:
PlagueJester Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
In the beginning, before the humor is added, I certainly sensed it. That's the path I was hoping it would lead to. I'm quite obsessed with horror.

Gratz on your DD.
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Thanks~
Reply
:iconmacabrecrimes:
macabrecrimes Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You rock!
Reply
:iconmidnite247:
Midnite247 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
LUV IT!!!! THIS IS .... JUST WOW :D
Reply
:icongreycorbie:
GreyCorbie Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Traditional Artist
Oh, Lord... This is so relevant to every honors college class I've ever taken. XD There's always a dummy (sometimes me) who spews off confidently in jargon, only to realize later that he or she was being a total idiot.
Reply
:iconamidarosa:
amidarosa Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
reminds me of screwtape letters by CS Lewis
Reply
:iconamidarosa:
amidarosa Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
lOVE THIS
Reply
:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Snarky characters are my weakness, no matter what they are. Your demon is no exception.

Excellent job building up the world in such a tiny way, I really liked this.
Reply
:iconbluevelvetwings:
bluevelvetwings Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Ffft, yes, always. People think they'd be so brilliant to outwit a demon... um, no. That isn't how things work; you can't trick the devil and get away with it.

/sorry demonology geek
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Why are you sorry? That's a wonderful field of study.
Reply
:iconbluevelvetwings:
bluevelvetwings Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I felt like I was coming off too eager or something; I often feel like that, actually. And I'm glad someone else agrees with me!
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
That sounds rather normal. :P

I hate to say it, but from a "scholarly" perspective, it's absolutely fascinating. And mostly, I hesitate on using the word "scholarly"...considering what we're commenting/replying on.
Reply
:iconbluevelvetwings:
bluevelvetwings Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
From the perspective of studying it as a... pseudoscience is the word I'm looking for maybe? I love it myself <3
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
That sounds like the right word.
Reply
:iconozimul:
Ozimul Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm getting a "Bartimaeus Trilogy" vibe from this. Is that what you were going for?
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
A what now vibe? xD

Never read that one.
Reply
:iconozimul:
Ozimul Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student General Artist
The Bartimaeus Trilogy, by Jonathan Stroud.
Your writing reminded me of it, what with its snarky demons that know better than the people summoning them. They're quite good.
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Hmm. I'll see about checking them out at some point.
Reply
:iconvelkynkarma:
VelkynKarma Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Quite an entertaining piece of work, and very enjoyable. Thanks for sharing this with us :)

~VelkynKarma
Reply
:iconieitmotif:
Ieitmotif Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Of course we are.
Reply
:iconkatanamasako:
Katanamasako Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel more sorry for the poor demon having to put up with the fool. XD the kid could have at LEAST done his homework.
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I know, right? xD
Reply
:iconkatanamasako:
Katanamasako Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
sadly, that scholar is how i usually felt while taking a test... and i'm positive my teacher was grumbling like the demon while grading said test XD
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
hmm, sounds familiar...
Reply
:iconkatanamasako:
Katanamasako Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
like you mean with every student teacher relationship evah?
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Quite possibly.
Reply
:iconkatanamasako:
Katanamasako Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD
Reply
:icondynamicability:
dynamicability Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I think that could be possible when Demons want to declare a New World Order to make a people become a demon... because I know we hate Demons (Satan)...
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I don't know about that, then.
Reply
:icondynamicability:
dynamicability Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
just kidding... but there some people who become a demon...
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Yes, there are. They're not particularly intelligent, but that's not our problem. Think of it as a population control.
Reply
:icondynamicability:
dynamicability Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Yeah... God will never accept the demon to the heaven... And I imagine in United States, those American ruin their attitude... and Do you think will continue to spread the rotten attitude to our life?
Reply
:iconmoreagaara:
MoreaGaara Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Actually, if God is half as forgiving as everyone says he is...yeah, he will accept the Fallen (who are different and distinct from demons) back into Heaven. Even so, I would say that demons are not the reason that American culture is going down, and that humanity itself is. The demons are just kind of hanging out.
Reply
:iconcharmtrainee:
charmtrainee Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Speak for yourself xD
Reply
:iconn4u2k:
N4u2k Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I loved the narrative from both characters, it was very enjoyable to read. Good work.
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :heart:
Have a nice day! : )
Reply
:iconshinomiyuukina:
ShinomiYuukina Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student General Artist
Ah, the perfect case of "Humans playing God when they aren't". It's sad to see that a scholar who should supposedly know more, doesn't. Great job portraying the alternating play of thoughts between the two beings.

Also I agree:

Demon 1
Scholar 0
Reply
:iconjvs-luck:
JVs-Luck Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it; the story is so fun and smart (and so is the demon).
Reply
:iconshadowphoenix16:
ShadowPhoenix16 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is really well written. And quite hilarious to be honest XD
Reply
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